i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
