i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
