He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
