Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
