I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
