I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
