i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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