420 ftw
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
