Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
