One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
