I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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