he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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