Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
