what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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