My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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