Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
