Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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