Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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