His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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