I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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