that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
