I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
