ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
