$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
