i permit you to call me
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
