he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
