If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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