There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
