i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
