how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
