I faked an abortion last night.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
