You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
