My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
