another moral hangover. fuck.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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