in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
