I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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