Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
