East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I am in a vortex of obligation.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Randomize
