Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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