Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
