There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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