I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
