I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
