he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
