but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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