last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
