its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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