Don't make out with my wife yet
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
