Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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