No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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